Desiderium

Stunned.  

Utter disbelief, 

Unfathomable despair.

Late at night my voice screams out your name.  

Early in the morning my heart yearns.

How long? How long?  

My whole world has collapsed,  

The pain bomb within me has imploded,

My arms are wide open, beyond sore from the wait. 

I close my eyes and all I see is you.

I look up to heaven and all I need is you.  

Why did I have you only to lose you. 

How long? How long?  

Where are you?  

I would gladly give myself for you. 

I will lose myself to find you, 

To protect you.

Theses tears are heavy, 

Uncontrollable paroxysms of sobs.

''mourning and great weeping...weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted...''

Jeremiah 31:15

A pain that can never be consoled.

Can joy ever live here?  

My bosoms long for you, they hear your cry.

Suffering is an everlasting companion.

The ghosts of ‘Had I known’ are wreaking damage to my soul.

What hurts most is not knowing.

What slowly kills me is that there is nothing I can do.

Come back to me,

I couldn’t protect you,

they couldn’t protect you  

But i pray you can protect yourself,

I pray you never doubt my love for you, 

I pray you never forget that I will be waiting for you, 

Even if it means waiting forever.

Inspired by the feelings of the parents of the kidnapped kids (Chibok Girls)